Do not mock the enormous orange cucumber

What in the hell is going on in my yard?

mistake.jpg

I mean, I know I’m not the most talented gardener in captivity, but I don’t think I’ve done anything recently to incur the wrath of a vengeful God in this way.  It had all been going so well – I held up my end of the bargain by giving them lots of water and love, and making occasional sacrifices of items for the cucumber plants to use as scaffolding in their quest for world domination.
So far they’ve devoured:

  • three pepper plants
  • a couple of tomato cages
  • half of a tomato plant
  • a planter full of parsley

But this thing. I don’t even know what to do with this thing. It’s like some kind of omen.

About Thea

I'm a content editor in Washington, DC. Have been working on the interweb for years. I have a toddler, a house, a spouse and two cats. I'm trying not to write exclusively about the cats.
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15 Responses to Do not mock the enormous orange cucumber

  1. George says:

    Feed me, Seymour!

  2. Mike Licht says:

    Space alien Body Snatcher pods! Call the military!

  3. lacochran says:

    LOL! Perhaps it’s crossed with a pepper or tomato and you’ve created something new and exciting…? Well, something different certainly.

    Good luck with that. Keep small children and pets clear of it.

  4. Erica says:

    so you could market these as “east-west hwy” cukes down at the local safeway. never know-could take buy local to a whole new level.

  5. UncleLongHair says:

    Hey i found your site while Googling for “orange cucumber”. I have the same “problem” as you did. One of my cucumber plants has produced the largest cucumber I’ve ever seen. I actually thought it was a pumpkin when I first saw it, because it is bright orange.

    Is this normal? The plant is a “boston” variety that is supposed to produce little cucumbers suitable for pickling.

    I had never heard of an orange cucumber until now, but Googling around I see that there are a lot of recipes for them.

    Interestingly, like you, I had a few pepper and tomato plants next to the cukes… maybe some kind of cross-breeding?

  6. Greg says:

    We have cucumbers just like this orange one. This is interesting. We also planted ours in the midst of peppers and tomatoes. Looks like we have a common denominator. On the plus side they are the sweetest tasting cukes I have ever grown. They smell sweet like a fruit.

  7. Brad says:

    My cuc’s started green but small like pickles . I of course waited for them to get large but as they started to grow they turned orange , now they are big and fat and getting bigger , very firm but tried one and didn’t taste ready . what the hec eh?

  8. Brad says:

    found my answer; i just found the tag i had put in the ground that came with the cuc’s . in big letters it says cucumbers just like the sine at walmart on the plant shelf but in small letters on the tag it says Boston pickling cucumbers , not what i wanted to purchase . helps when i have my glasses to read fine print. Jokes on me lol

  9. Sharon says:

    Same here.

    But what the heck do you do with them? I thought I was picking a wierd variety of squash or pumpkin, but these are really pickles gone wild!

  10. Laurie says:

    We just harvested some orange cucumbers. I thought they were over ripe, but they were still firm and tasted under ripe, but sweet and juicy! We have a small raised bed garden and our cucumbers are in the row next to our tomato plants and in the 4×4 raised bed we also have red peppers! I guess it’s not so uncommon. By the taste of them, we will be planting our cucs next to our tomatoes and red peppers again next year!!! Yum!

  11. Bill says:

    Same here, as I also planted pickling cucumbers, Left for vacation 1 week ago, and there were no cucumbers present on the vine. Upon return, there were 4 large yellow-to-orange cucumbers. I thought they were in the process of turing green, but they only became darker orange the longer they were left on the vine. They are at least 3x the size of the green variety pickling cucumber. — They were still firm, so I picked them this eve and cut one in half. Tasted ok, but the seeds are large and bitter. They will make some large b&b pickles.

    btw.. They are planted next to onions and lettuce, and are 2 rows away from the peppers and tomatoes.

  12. braden says:

    Ok here’s the scoop. These are a new brand of genetically modified cucumbers that have high amounts of beta Carotene(which turns them orange) and vitamin A. I to bought some cucumbers that turned out to be orange not from over ripening since they basicly started off orange, when I went to look this up i found out that a lot of people have the same problem with no awnser until i found some articles on USDA site. The messed up thing is that the company I got mine from said that they were USDA organic and non GMO. It would seem that this new strand has been found cross pollinating with alot of people cucumbers all over the place. The sad thing is that consumers that want GMO free food are beening unknowningly mislead into growing and eating GMO’s not to mention that the heal effects of these new genes are unknow. With all the genetic alterations of our food and madmen scientist unleashing these plants into the wild, will we one day awake to a world where genetically pure foods don’t exist and orange cucumbers take the place of green ones???? Here is the USDA’s website about there man made orange cucumbers i would suggest you look into the issue more and question whether or not we should accept these alteration to the natural order of our food. And please ask yourself this one question about genetically modified food, why are they altering our food and not even telling us about it???????

    http://www.ars.usda.gov/is/ar/archive/nov95/cukes1195.htm?pf=1

    http://www.ars.usda.gov/is/qtr/q195/gr195.htm

  13. Thea says:

    I see your point, really I do. But I think sometimes an orange cucumber is just overripe. Like how a green pepper turns red when it’s done, but isn’t an actual red pepper? Spouse told me that his grandmother used to deliberately orange a couple of cukes at the end of the summer so she could harvest the seeds. This was at a little summer house outside of Moscow. And don’t get me wrong, I’m sure some scary shiznit goes down with the produce in that region, but I still have the impression that this one is often a natural process.

  14. Ken says:

    Hmmm…the orange cuc phenom…is it a secret plan by the Feds to GMO us to death??? Is it cross breeding w/canteloupe, pumpkins, or tomatoes?? Is it related to the yellowing of leaves due to over-watering or not enough water? Is it a virus or other infection? Stay tuned, as the drama unfolds.

    Like many home farmers, I have had this same phenomenon. Most of these started green, then when very small, went orange. They do seem to be quite big and fat, rounder than typical cucs, more like a tomato or melon with a tail. I’ve been fascinated with how alike my cuc and canteloupe vines seem to be…even down to the flower and similar leave shape. I have no doubt there is some cross pollination going on here. As to the GMO theory, that article explained that it was the INTERNAL color they were changing, which determines the beta carotene color, and “the outside color is not important.” So, though it is possible these are infected with GMO spawn, I’m not sure that’s our culprit.

    Since I’m growing my vines on vertical trelli, I notice that the cucs near the bottom are more orange and turn orange faster…while the cucs near the top stay green longer and larger and then turn orange much later. I also notice that the leaves near the bottom are more yellow. This could be due to water conditions or the natural red clay in our soil here in NC.

    In any case, the true test is the taste. I just picked a big fat one, and the inside looked like a normal cuc. It was firm and delicious and made great juice. Orange or green, I’m still going to eat them. If you know anything more about this phenom, please post. To be continued…

  15. tpizz says:

    Same orange cucumbers here in Long Island, New York. Grew from supermarket seeds, potted with marigolds then transplanted into a small garden bed with pumpkins, neverdies, green beans, and petunias. Plenty of flowering got us excited, and then beginning of August we got 4 huge orange cucumbers? Lots of water, heat and fertilizer? I never saw this before.

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