Nutgraf

Launched on October 5, 2008, I hereby declare the Franken-Lettuce Experiment concluded. I’ve been avoiding this shelf on the fridge for the last couple of days, and manned-up tonight only because I know it’s my last chance for a couple of more and didn’t want to actually spark life anew in my GE FrigidAire.

Before my scintillating analysis, let us recap:

• Remember! The day it all began.
• Gape in awe as lettuce ages before your very eyes.
• Gawk in stunned amazement as I let this go on for too long.

So, here we are, 24 days after chopping up a head of lettuce and stuffing it into various bags like some social deviant.

• At 6:00 on the wheel of botulism here, we have the open-air quadrant. It’s a pretty stunning difference, don’t you think?
• At 9:00, we have the plain plastic bag quadrant. It is smaller than the Green Bag quadrants. It is also browner and way, way, slimier. I washed my hands after setting this one up on the plate.
• At high noon, you’ll find the plain Green Bag piece, faring pretty well with some evenly distributed brownness around the cut and crinkly edges. Not edible (to my way of thinking), but not a horror-show, either.
• At 3:00 we have the Green Bag with Extra Moisture-Absorbing Napkin, which appears to have had a pretty negligible effect.

And here we are. The Green Bags certainly made a readily visible and pretty significant difference in the state of the food, 24 days out. And it probably preserved its “edibility” for a couple of days longer than the other arrays. I declare them a success.

Next experiment is currently being concocted, and it’s a one-shot deal testing Multipurpose Windex, Formula 409, Fantastik and good old white vinegar on an array of crud.

Meanwhile, please do send me your thoughts on other things we can test, or mess up with a reciprocating saw.

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