How to turn a “fussy” DVD player into a “broken” DVD player

For the last couple of months, it seemed like a higher and higher percentage of our Netflix movies were scratched, spotty or otherwise horked up. Spouse and I found ourselves getting increasingly frustrated with the service. We’re working our way through The Wire now, a real potboiler of a series, and our language and patience have both deteriorated apace with the quality of our viewing experience.

It got to the point where when you slipped a movie into it, the thing would just sit there and purr – while the cats examined it quizzically – until it would error out glumly.

It eventually dawned on us that we have two big long-haired cats and that it would not be any great shock to know that the lens or the motor in the player had just accumulated one fuzzball too many.

So the question became: How do you relieve the machine of the fluff?

The answer:

• One upright vacuum cleaner with pointy attachment.
• One Bic pen
• A sufficient amount of tape

Then, in a manner that it not at all recommended by any reputable sources, you can take this attachment and “swizzle” it around in the machine in an attempt to dislodge the hypothetical fluff.

Crocs, pictured at bottom right, are optional. And hideous.

Now, of course, the DVD player is irretrievably broken. Which leads us to our next and much more compelling question:

Can you build a modern media server out of an old 286 computer chassis?