Nutgraf

I love Judge Judy. Let me just admit that up front. She reminds me of my paternal grandmother – famed for not letting anyone get away with anything, and having a formidable “fish eye” that she shared when she thought someone was up to no good. Or even just not up to as much good as she thought they should be up to.

I watch Judge Judy’s show (and all of the others: The People’s Court, Judge Joe Brown, Judge Mathis…) when I’m home of a weekday, but have thus far resisted filling up our DVR with the stuff.

And – honestly – I’m not sure it’s making me a better person.

But I’ve learned a couple of great things from her, and now I’m going to save you the hours of rigorous research.

What I’ve learned from Judge Judy:

• When you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember as much.
• When you’re ahead, just stop talking.
• Don’t lend anything you can’t afford to lose.
• Documentation is your best friend.
• The longer the story, the less likely it is to be true.

And that’s it. I consider these to all be very important nuggets of wisdom, and hope that Judge Judy and grandma both would approve.

Aside: Am I the only person who loved the old Divorce Court with the beating heart animation and the kindly older judge with the crinkly eyes pushing the little boy in the swing during the opening credits, and the dramatic courtroom reenactments of Actual Real Cases? Or did I imagine this all in a codeine-induced haze during a long illness when I was a teenager? Either way. It was epic.

Have you learned anything valuable from TV? Sarcasm is, of course, welcome.

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