Comments on: A bolus of awesome parenting advice. Just in time. http://nutgraf.net/2010/01/15/a-bolus-of-awesome-parenting-advice-just-in-time/ Because inside of a dog it's too dark to read. Sun, 22 Jan 2012 08:40:58 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: How to teach your kids values | Parenting Help in Rhode Island http://nutgraf.net/2010/01/15/a-bolus-of-awesome-parenting-advice-just-in-time/comment-page-1/#comment-2318 How to teach your kids values | Parenting Help in Rhode Island Sat, 16 Jan 2010 04:47:42 +0000 http://nutgraf.net/?p=1116#comment-2318 [...] A bolus of awesome parenting advice. Just in time. | Nutgraf [...] [...] A bolus of awesome parenting advice. Just in time. | Nutgraf [...]

]]> By: Who should stop the bullying | Parenting Help in Idaho http://nutgraf.net/2010/01/15/a-bolus-of-awesome-parenting-advice-just-in-time/comment-page-1/#comment-2317 Who should stop the bullying | Parenting Help in Idaho Sat, 16 Jan 2010 03:19:13 +0000 http://nutgraf.net/?p=1116#comment-2317 [...] A bolus of awesome parenting advice. Just in time. | Nutgraf [...] [...] A bolus of awesome parenting advice. Just in time. | Nutgraf [...]

]]> By: Tweets that mention A bolus of awesome parenting advice. Just in time. | Nutgraf -- Topsy.com http://nutgraf.net/2010/01/15/a-bolus-of-awesome-parenting-advice-just-in-time/comment-page-1/#comment-2315 Tweets that mention A bolus of awesome parenting advice. Just in time. | Nutgraf -- Topsy.com Sat, 16 Jan 2010 02:00:53 +0000 http://nutgraf.net/?p=1116#comment-2315 [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by tjoselow, tjoselow. tjoselow said: Fantastic parenting advice from a fantastic woman: Kids are to be enjoyed, not relentlessly examined. http://bit.ly/7N0iER [...] [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by tjoselow, tjoselow. tjoselow said: Fantastic parenting advice from a fantastic woman: Kids are to be enjoyed, not relentlessly examined. http://bit.ly/7N0iER [...]

]]> By: Cara http://nutgraf.net/2010/01/15/a-bolus-of-awesome-parenting-advice-just-in-time/comment-page-1/#comment-2314 Cara Fri, 15 Jan 2010 22:49:52 +0000 http://nutgraf.net/?p=1116#comment-2314 I'm all for avoiding needless obsessing about parenting, but the writer above was lucky to have easygoing children. I'm willing to bet she never had a baby who cries and screams and cries and screams despite the application of every soothing technique out there. (otherwise known as "colic" - I know the life-altering reality of this firsthand.) Or a baby who struggles and cries with painful gas or reflux after every meal. And it's no fun if your toddler won't nap on the go, resulting in meltdowns due to skipped naps. None of these situations are the fault of parents. The mom above assumes her child was not picky about eating because she EXPECTED him to not be picky. It's easy to take credit for traits we like in our kids, but not always entirely correct. Certainly, parents greatly influence kids' attitudes and values, but inborn temperament is an important factor. One lesson I've learned from bearing and parenting two children with different temperaments: Try not to judge or make assumptions. See a 3-year-old with a pacifier? Maybe his parents are hovering and indulgent. Or maybe he has an disability and the paci helps him cope. Think your friend is too uptight because she insists on getting home before naptime? You have no idea what challenges she might be facing with her child. When you find yourself thinking, "I'm sure if those parents just took a different approach...", STOP. You don't know that. (Except, of course, if you see abuse or neglect or the like.) Just be careful about one-size-fits-all parenting advice. Some babies and children do require more attention, regardless of our expectations. I’m all for avoiding needless obsessing about parenting, but the writer above was lucky to have easygoing children. I’m willing to bet she never had a baby who cries and screams and cries and screams despite the application of every soothing technique out there. (otherwise known as “colic” – I know the life-altering reality of this firsthand.) Or a baby who struggles and cries with painful gas or reflux after every meal. And it’s no fun if your toddler won’t nap on the go, resulting in meltdowns due to skipped naps. None of these situations are the fault of parents.

The mom above assumes her child was not picky about eating because she EXPECTED him to not be picky. It’s easy to take credit for traits we like in our kids, but not always entirely correct. Certainly, parents greatly influence kids’ attitudes and values, but inborn temperament is an important factor.

One lesson I’ve learned from bearing and parenting two children with different temperaments: Try not to judge or make assumptions. See a 3-year-old with a pacifier? Maybe his parents are hovering and indulgent. Or maybe he has an disability and the paci helps him cope. Think your friend is too uptight because she insists on getting home before naptime? You have no idea what challenges she might be facing with her child.

When you find yourself thinking, “I’m sure if those parents just took a different approach…”, STOP. You don’t know that. (Except, of course, if you see abuse or neglect or the like.)

Just be careful about one-size-fits-all parenting advice. Some babies and children do require more attention, regardless of our expectations.

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