How to make an origami mobile… If you’re a lunatic.

During the 3094809803 months I was pregnant, I ate a lot of Dum Dum lollipops. Like, more than you’d think possible because I am congenitally incapable of leisurely sucking on one, and instead crunch them into oblivion instantly. This creates a lot of candy wrappers. You used to be able to cash them in for cool things like t-shirts and frisbees and other branded merchandise, back when online stores weren’t yet ubiquitous and people listened to cassettes. You can still trade ‘em for schwag (the wrappers not the cassettes), but it’s less of a challenge since you can also just send in $6 or whatever without having to suffer through the candy. But suffer I did. My friend Manda likes to say that I built a human heart out of Skittles, and she’s probably not far off. And now I have to wear large slacks. But that’s a story for another time. Back to the lollipop wrappers.

I had a bunch of small, colorful squares and wanted to do some kind of fun art project with them. After discounting some paper weaving projects as “too much effort,” I decided to try to make a small, delicate mobile that can be gently buffeted in the natural air currents of the baby’s room, to the delight of all. Origami is a natural application for small squares of paper, and I was sure that the Internets could hook me up with some simple instructions that even I could follow successfully. And so it came to pass…

How To Make An Origami Mobile

1) Eat a lot of lollipops and conserve the wrappers. Tip: Sharing the candy with your coworkers will mitigate their concern when they see a ziploc bag full of candy wrappers on the desk of the enormous pregnant lady.

2) Pick through the wrappers and discard any torn or mangled ones.

3) Flatten them clumsily by hand, and then – because you are a maniac – iron them individually. Place them between two layers of kitchen towel and smooth them gently on a medium setting without steam. Use a light hand and be careful not to melt them to the towel. Like I did.

4) Conduct many individual acts of origami! Instructions for many fanciful animals can easily be located on the Internets. Search terms I used included: origami, easy, for dummies.

5) Tie together to pieces of (in this case) floral arrangement wire with nylon thread for the armature.

6) Make several strings of several paper birds (or whatever) each and tie them in an artistic manner to the armature. If your piece does not balance well when held from a loop tied to the center of the armature, you can scootch (technical term) the strings to different places on the bars, or add and subtract birds as needed.

7)  Once you’re satisfied that it is structurally sound and well-balanced, declare your work of art complete and try to suppress any flashbacks to things you’ve seen on Regretsy.com: “Where DIY meets WTF.”