Nutgraf

Introducing Veronica Rose [Spouse's last name].

• Born March 1, 2010
• 6 lbs, 13 oz
• The nurses gave her a gold star for her incredible head of hair (not pictured).

Am hoping not to make a habit of blogging about the minutiae of new parenthood. There are lots of people who do this really well, and it’s not my niche. But… maybe… once in a while…

In the spirit of science, here are some initial observations.

• No matter what you tell your mother in the months before your water breaks (or the 35 years of your prior acquaintance), she will still want to stay in the delivery room for the main event. And you just might not care at that point. This happens to everyone, right?
• The moment of delivery is astonishing on a number of levels. And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.
• Epidural. Say it loud. Say it proud. Say it early. Don’t wait and go through hours of suffering if you’re heading for the drip anyway – save your strength.
• Let me repeat: Epidural. As someone who has been in pain before, I have the authority to state that there is nothing noble or interesting about it. Nature does lots of painful undignified things to us that we don’t have any trouble interfering with.
• Somehow this six pound human facsimile is controlling four full-grown adults 24 hours a day. I know this does not make us unique, so I won’t bitch about it further. For at least the next five minutes.
• You *can* make a baby almost entirely out of Skittles.
• Those enormous boobs I ordered when I was 15 arrived today. Shazam.

Nobody knows what they’re talking about. Conversely, everybody knows what they’re talking about.

In the last two days I’ve been told the following by a series of legitimate medical professionals:

• Unwrap the baby for feedings so she’s a little agitated and alert.
• Swaddle the baby for feedings so she’s comfortable and relaxed.
• Keep the baby’s hands and fingers covered so they don’t flail around and disturb her.
• Free up the baby’s hands so she can comfort herself – she’s had them in utero, why take them away now?
• Take the baby’s temperature in the ear or armpit.
• Take the baby’s temperature rectally.
• Start good sleeping habits right away, it’s never too early.
• Spend the first couple of months just doing whatever she wants, you can’t start bad habits yet.
• Never wake a sleeping baby.
• Wake her up for feeding times.

So now that we’ve got that straight. Am I missing anything?

Here’s some great advice from friend Laina – who has personally manufactured two fine offspring of her very own, so you know she knows what she’s talking about.

It doesn’t matter what you say. Kids only learn from what you do.

You watch TV? Good luck following the American Academy of Pediatrics advice to keep them away from TV until age two.

You like healthy food? With a few small battles in the toddler years, your offspring will probably grow up eating their veggies most of the time.

Same thing with naps and bedtime. If you believe in sleep and take it seriously enough to put them in a quiet, dark place at more or less the same time(s) every day, they will learn to nap. And well-rested kids are happier kids.

You know, I’d take this farther and come out and say that “walk the walk” is good advice for more than just parenting. Know where you stand and live your ideals.

Have something to add? Currently seeking words of wisdom about work, parenting, home maintenance, cooking, relationships… Tell me what you know!

Seriously, good eatin'.

Trapped in the house – not even allowed to help shovel us out – I had to do something to earn my keep during Snowpocalypse 2010. While everyone else was out organizing massive snowball fights via Facebook, I went all clean-a-thon on my place – polishing the counters, vacuuming, reorganizing all of my clothes and sifting through the jewelry archives, squirreling away the good stuff into various hidey holes where I will never find it. And generally trying to keep moving constantly, to assuage my guilt over leaving poor, beleaguered spouse out there to fend for himself in the wilds of Bethesda with a shovel and a dream. So I decided to make stew while he liberated us from the Deathsnow.

Here are some Deathsnow pictures! I wasn’t able to stray far, and mostly trotted up and down our front walk, hitting azaleas with a broom to try to knock some of the heavy snow off of them.

But back to the stew: It’s a very good stew, and kind of the definition of comfort food. Takes a vigorous slathering with horseradish, and keeps well. And so I share it with you as a great thing to have in your arsenal.

It is an adapted version of the Beef Stew Gaston recipe from Joy of Cooking.

• Take about 2-3 pounds of stewing beef – however you define that.
• Whack it in a big pot with a couple of tablespoons of olive oil and stir it around for a while as it browns.
• When it’s all browned up, scoop it out and discard the residual goo.
• Dust the beef chunks with flour, salt and pepper.
• Toss into your big pot and get to boiling: one cup broth (beef, veg… whatever you have around), one 15-oz can of tomato sauce or crushed tomatoes, one chopped onion, 3-ish cloves of garlic chopped, about 1/4 cup of chopped parsley, 12-15-ish peppercorns, one bay leaf, and one or two cloves. Cloves are a delicate calculation and it’s easy to use too much – do not overdo them.
• When that’s boiling, add your browned meat and simmer for about 3 hrs.
• After about 2.5 hours, add 2-3 peeled, chopped potatoes, 3 peeled, chopped carrots, 1-2 stalks chopped celery (all in big chunks), and a cup of red wine.

Enjoy with horseradish and more wine.

So what do you make/crave when it’s cold and shovely out?

Every adult should have a really elegant pen.

Mine? Is a gorgeous hot yellow Waterman Charleston fountain pen with a medium gold nib and a really nice heft to it. Look at it. Love it. When I use that bad boy, people think I know something. This pen is elegant and sophisticated, and these are traits I could stand to be associated with. It makes you feel good in the same way as your favorite shirt. Or like when your underpants and bra match. You feel like you’ve really got it together.

We e-mail and txt constantly – or at least I do. And that requires a lot of words, much more than it requires a lot of thought. With a big, heavy, gorgeous fountain pen? You think about getting comfortable and clearing your mind. With no backspace key or copy/paste function, you think about each word. When you mess something up? You want to start over, because the end result should be a beautiful and cohesive document.

This isn’t txting or pinging. And you don’t lol or ttyl. You compose a note. I’ll even admit that sometimes I’ll write a draft on a steno pad so that I don’t waste the good stationary and can concentrate on keeping things as pretty and organized as possible.

Using whole words and full sentences, and polite salutations. People like it. Go figure. You can say more with less.

There’s something about writing with a beautiful instrument that makes you chose your words more carefully. It lends a sense of ceremony to an important signature. Don’t sign your mortgage with that pen you got at the chiropractor.

People who take pens far too seriously:

• The Pen Addict
• The Pen Guy
• Sharpie Blog
• Unposted
• Ink Quest

Do you have a piece of advice to share? All topics welcome.

I have a couple of super cool but pretty worn old Scan wood tabley things. I love ‘em – they’ve got a great shape, good proportion, elegant and spare design, and have served me well lo these many years. I have treated them somewhat roughly and the tops are all marked up with old water stains and whatnot.

It's a nice lookin' console, no?

I’ve long wanted to try to tidy them up a little, but have no time, skill or patience for a real project, and so have mostly just halfheartedly rubbed them with furniture polish or wax, noticed that no miracles took place, and then promptly forgot about it for a while. Honestly, they deserve better treatment.

Since today is kind of a quasi holiday (quasi only because not everyone has it off), I finally consulted the Great and Benevolent Internet to see what gems of homemaker wisdom it might be able to provide. The consensus was that I should place a white towel or piece of flat-like cloth on the stain and gently iron it for a few minutes.

And holy shit, it worked.

The stains were not completely removed (really, they were pretty bad), but the big ones were definitely significantly healed. So, let it be known that even years-old water stains can be abated by gently ironing a white cloth on the wood.

Oh, Internet. Is there anything you *don’t* know?

Do you have a piece of housekeeping advice? I know there are some really awesome tips out there. Share yours!