Mom was queen for a day on ‘The Young and the Restless’

September 10th, 2009 Thea Posted in Misc No Comments »

I grew up with The Young and the Restless. The program apparently started when mom was expecting me, and has been a peripheral if constant presence ever since. Sick days, summers, the odd holiday… we watched it. Often with sandwiches, since it’s been in the same time slot since dinosaurs roamed the earth. Well, mom finally got up close and personal with the show. But why don’t I let her tell it.

Mom on the scene

Mom on the scene

Okay, I admit it. I have watched The Young and the Restless for 35 years. Not consistently, mind you, but often enough to know the difference between Adam and Billy, or say, Ashley and Mac. Long enough to have seen Victor age as a pater familias, and lose some of his boxing form. I’ve seen Ashley played by a variety of folks, with the best one (Eileen Davidson) comfortably settled in the role again. I’ve seen the town prosecutor die, only to be reborn as his own evil twin (people wrote in – they missed the actor). Mrs. Chancellor, of course, is the same as she has been for 35 years—let’s send up a hurrah for actor Jeanne Cooper, who once allowed her facelift to be written into the scripts, and who is in real life the mother of actor Corbin Bernsen.

I guess not everyone is up on these folks. Or cares. My life has changed over the years, too. I’m no longer stuck at home with a sick child, or hanging out with the TV during a long, lonely winter. I still consider the inhabitants of Genoa City to be part of my family. I mean, they are always there for me. Whenever I had to sit around a courthouse, waiting to see if I’d be placed on a jury I found a TV turned to Y&R surrounded by a cadre of women who argued and clucked their tongues about the fate of these characters just as I did. We leaped all class barriers and bonded instantly.

Me again, the one mom doesn’t mention because she wasn’t really there, is that when she was having an operation a few years ago, her husband and I sat in the waiting room with the anxious family members of other patients. At 12:30, my stepdad asked them to turn to CBS and we all watched together – taking turns complaining about Victor Newman. Will that man never learn? But back to the story:

So when I had the chance to be an extra on the show (thank you, Y&R, for making that donation to my cousin’s school auction so that my kids would force me to bid on it), I didn’t hesitate to hop on a plane to L.A., check into a room at a funky little hotel called The Farmer’s Daughter, don one of my favorite shirts and dash across the street to CBS, where I was greeted by a lovely young woman named Erin Yeomans, who looked like a star herself, and who showed me one of the best times of my life.

It wasn’t being in the scene in the coffee shop where you can see me for about 3 seconds. Much better was being on the set most of a day and watching them film the show. I watched actors spend two minutes doing a read through of a scene, and then getting it shot in one take. The takes are short, but even so…. these guys are good. And they laugh a lot when they blow it, as when Cane said to Lily, “The doctor says a fever of 105 is not good, but just to watch it and call if it gets any higher,” necessitating one of the few do-overs of a scene. I got to sit on Victor’s couch! I’d seen that living room on my screen at home hundreds of times. I got hugged by Neal and kissed by Cane! I laughed with Lily. And best of all, I met Jack – sweet, unlucky Jack. After a heartbreaking scene in which, Jack loses out in love and potential parenthood yet again, actor Peter Bergman came up behind me and said, “Could you hear that? We speak pretty softly because the mikes can pick up everything.” I told him I’d heard enough of it to know that Jack got screwed again, and we agreed that he gets a bad deal much too often.

Erin answered all my questions about people on the show, and took my picture with everyone I met. But she swore me to secrecy about some of the plot elements. The show is shot a month or so in advance, so I’ve known for weeks that Mary Jane is actually Patty. I can say that now.

I sat in the director’s booth and watched them orchestrate a pretty complicated set of events, quietly and seamlessly. These people shoot five one hour shows in four days, week after week, and everyone was good-humored. As one of the crew said to me, “I’m only staying as long as it’s still fun. That’s been 19 years so far.”

I’d stay, too, if I could. They even paid me for being an extra. Thank you, Y&R. Even as soap operas struggle to hang on in the great media shakedown, I pledge myself as a lifelong fan.

You can see for yourself at 26.42 of the September 2, 2009 episode, if you’re so inclined. Fine work mom!

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How to make an awesome homemade pizza.

August 2nd, 2009 Thea Posted in Misc 4 Comments »

That gorgeous homemade pizza you see before you? Yeah, I did that. Made the dough from scratch, and even grew the rosemary (rosemary pizza dough? Try it sometime), tomatoes, basil and banana peppers my own self. And the kicker? It’s totally easy. About 15 minutes total prep time, zero skill and you too can have a work of art like this.

The masterpiece uncooked.

The masterpiece uncooked.

  • Make pizza dough. I use Cuisinart’s recipe in my Kitchenaid, throw in some olive oil if the recipe doesn’t tell you to, and add about a teaspoon or two of fresh, chopped rosemary. Or whatever else you’ve got a taste for.
  • Chop up a bunch of stuff. Tomatoes, basil, olives, peppers are on display here. But that’s only because I was too lazy to go buy pepperoni. Anything goes.
  • Roll out your dough into a rough, pizza-like shape. Maybe half an inch thick. Use flour to keep it from sticking to wherever you’re rolling it out.
  • Whack it on a cookie sheet covered with parchment paper or sprinkled with corn meal and finish shaping by hand. Some people swear by a pizza stone. I don’t care one way or the other.
  • Smear dough with tomato sauce or whatever kind you like. Sprinkle with shredded mozzarella, add toppings, sprinkle with additional cheese. Some folks like to use slabs of fresh mozzarella. I support them wholeheartedly.
  • Pitch in oven at 475 for about 15 minutes, or until the dough gets all puffy and delectable, starts browning and the cheese melts and develops strategic golden highlights.
  • Remove from oven and let cool for a bit.
  • Enjoy.
  • Submit successful variations below, via the comments field.
Hot stuff

Hot stuff

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An astute corporate metaphor fresh from the Middle Ages.

June 9th, 2009 Thea Posted in Misc 1 Comment »

Some of you know Spouse. Some of you just wish you do.

He transitioned to Big Corporate not that long ago from a long series of startups and smaller companies. Quite a long series. Really, it was a long series. The change has been interesting – while in some ways working for a big established company can be easier (401k anyone?), it can also prove challenging (strained schmoozing muscles). Also our drycleaning bills are astronomical.

Spouse is a pretty acute observer. Sometimes so acute you wish he’d slip into a nice, quiet coma. But he does send me little e-mail observation bombs once in a while and has given me the all-clear to share them here.

And so, I proudly present:

The Vegetable Lamb of Tartary

The elusive Vegetable Lamb of Tartary

The elusive Vegetable Lamb of Tartary

As Wikipedia’s entry explains, the vegetable lamb is a plant that grows cotton. A tale told by travelers during the middle ages to describe how this newfangled wool-like substance is produced. The Vegetable Lamb of Tartary (aka The Sythian Lamb, and The Borometz) captured the popular imagination and became a mythical creature sighted the world-over. Like Brangelina.

Spouse says: “I fought myself very hard, and I found a way to not to insert it into a presentation deck as an example of how we view the problem before we study it…”

I must say that I’m pleased as punch that his Powerpoint skills have come so far! Remember where he was just a few short weeks ago?

I also think that the Vegetable Lamb is a phenomenal metaphor for so many things.

The Legend of the Lamb-Plant as presented by the USDA tells it best:

Sigismund, Baron von Herberstein, wrote in 1549 “…For myself, although I had previously regarded these Borametz [another name for this plant] as fabulous, the accounts of it were confirmed to me by so many persons of credence that I thought it right to describe it.”

Well thank God, you know, that we’ve come such a long way since 1549. I mean, can you imagine what it would be like if just anyone could start a rumor and make it more or less true by getting other people to believe it and repeat it endlessly?

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Taking my act on the road. Nutgraf Santa Fe and San Diego editions.

May 30th, 2009 Thea Posted in Misc No Comments »

Once in a while we get to go on vacation. Not often. Not nearly often enough. But once in a great, long while.

This time, Spouse and I opted to go to Santa Fe. We chose New Mexico because I saw the sky outside of Albuquerque years and years (and years) ago and decided I needed to go back and see it again. I grew up in the DC area and never saw the Whole Damn Milky Way until that night. From the passenger window of a Ryder truck on the deepest, darkest mid-desert regions of the state, I finally knew wtf all of those old-school prime-time philosophers were talking about. And always wanted to see it again. So we went. And it was cloudy. And raining. Every dang day.

On the other hand, we got to see the cliff dwellings at Puye through a gentle drizzle.

Puye cliff dwellingsWhich were pretty neat. And we learned all about jimsonweed and how it grows wildly all around these ruins, and what a very bad thing it is unless you are extremely cautious and learned. And we also learned how once, a long long time ago, some guy smoked some and got all out of his skull and climbed a nearby tree looking for cigarettes. For some reason I find this to be hilarious. And not at all unlikely.

We also saw Camel Rock between thunderstorms.

Camel Rock is as advertised.

Camel Rock is as advertised.

And that’s really all there is to say about that.

And we got lightly misted on as we hiked up to Nambe Falls, which was pretty cool. Spouse made mention of the fact that I kept hiking with my purse, saying something really charming and thoughtful about me “not caring what anyone thinks.” But really – I’m just a classy lady.

After scrambling up wet, muddy rocks for 15 minutes, we were rewarded with this incredible view.

After scrambling up wet, muddy rocks for 15 minutes, we were rewarded with this incredible view.

Later on, we were pelted with hail at the Rio Grande overlook with all of the bikers and bighorn sheep, and positively drenched in Taos. Basically, it was a great visit.

Thunderstorms in Taos made me really glad not to be on a motorcycle. Unlike all of those ill-humored motorcycle enthusiasts out cruising the mountains on Memorial Day.

Thunderstorms in Taos made me really glad not to be on a motorcycle. Unlike all of those ill-humored motorcycle enthusiasts out cruising the mountains on Memorial Day.

Coming up next, unless I have a better idea: The hot springs at Ojo Caliente and the Miracle Stairs at Loretto, but no more weather reports, so don’t even ask.

Hold onto your 10-gallon hats.

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Was it Twain?

March 8th, 2009 Thea Posted in Misc 4 Comments »

Those of you who know me well know that I have a little bit of a Mark Twain problem affinity. I’m down to 2.5 bookshelves, though, and only read A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court once a year these days.

However, if anyone can help me find really good citations for these quotes, I’ll be grateful. My Googling tells me they’re Twain, but I need something firmer. There’s a tattoo I’m hoping to refresh and augment, and I’m not taking any chances on the quote.

  • Sing like no one’s listening, love like you’ve never been hurt, dance like nobody’s watching, and live like its heaven on earth.
  • Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.

Any thoughts? I’m not above pestering a rockstar research librarian I knew at Oberlin, but thought I’d start closer to home.

There’s a Snuggie in it for the first person who provides proof!

Bonus points if you can identify the Twain-realated joke in title.

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